When I was 11 years old, and people always asked me where I saw myself in 10 years, I did not envision myself conforming to the hipster norm of creating my own blog. But this really allows me to put out my thoughts to the world, you know?
So lately, I have been thinking about my role in the world and honestly, it is hard to find the right way to see myself within the grand schemes of things. There is always just so much going on, and it feels like you are always traveling a thousand miles a minute. Being pulled a million different ways is what life is, but how do we place ourselves in this chaotic space without losing ourselves in the process?
Truly, I wish I had a way to see into the deep dark truths of the world to find the perfect answer, but actually the answer is always pretty clear — the answer is you! You are the key to finding your own place. You are given so many wonderful talents and abilities that being unique is something that you don’t have to fight for. You were born to stand out.
This week at my school, we had a girl commit suicide from jumping from the fourth floor in one of our buildings on campus, and never had I had such an experience where I felt just utterly helpless for the situation I was facing. I have had my own fair share of troubles, but this was something so much more. This girl believed she didn’t matter and that life was no longer worth living, and it breaks my heart because this loneliness is real. This isn’t some random tweet we see about mental health awareness or a suicide prevention poster. This is real life, and real people deal with this on a day by day, and often hour by hour basis. I don’t know about you, but I tend to think that religion is often something used to speak support for mental health, but in this case, it was used to hide behind. I just can’t help thinking that if more awareness was raised and if people showed genuine care for those struggling that perhaps this tragedy could’ve been prevented, but I have used this sad experience as a way for me to be a voice for the voiceless.
No matter how you feel, I hope you know that I have been there. As I person who still deals with severe depression and anxiety, I know the despair that can seem to suck all the happiness and joy from your life. It is like someone has turned off the light switch in your life; you can’t see anything and feel lost, being surrounded by darkness every way you turn. Just know that there is a place for you in this crazy space of time in your life. You matter. You are important. There is nothing in this world quite like you, and that makes you invaluable. I happened to come across a quote this week that I think ties into the coldness that seems to seep into our hearts — “No Winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn.” Though the storms that come into our lives seem to last forever, just know that this too shall pass, After the darkest night, there is always a dawn, and know that through the hope of this Christmas season, our darkest nights and most turbulent storms can be made into glorious springs through Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.
Until next time —